weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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