I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
