your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
