its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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