So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
