oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
