Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The maid of honor just puked.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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