I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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