That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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