I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
