I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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