I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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