This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You've changed since you got that strap on
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