She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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