Its about making memories worth repressing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
