I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
