you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize