She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
