So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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