If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
