I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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