Im at strip club and am horny
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
