Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
