I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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