saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
