people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
