i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
