Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
