If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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