ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
