his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
