I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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