I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
