I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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