have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
