Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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