Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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