FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
