Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My vagina just recognized that song.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
