I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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