I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
