Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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