Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
