I think I am morally bankrupt
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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