it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This house was built for laser tag.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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