I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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