id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
