my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
