My first STD was from a foam party
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
