We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
