The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
