Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
