fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize