scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
