Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
