How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize