how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize