I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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