somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
