the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
