Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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