We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
