somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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