I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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