I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
